catboi:

hippyveganchick:

fffcuk:

lzbth:

‘got herself pregnant’ is the dumbest phrase in the world like forreal if it was possible to get pregnant by ourselves we’d have eaten all the men long ago

it actually is possible to get pregnant (without the sperm of a man whatsoever) using bone marrow from another woman! a child conceived this way can only be female so actually, men are entirely useless. fun fact

let’s begin the feast (✿)

*hides*

15 hours ago

My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
  • BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
  • Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
  • BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
  • Grandma: What?
  • BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
  • Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
  • 1 day ago

vincentmillay:

you know what’s funny is that i’ve always been more obsessed with female celebrities for some reason and i used to think that was bc i saw them as role models and wanted to emulate them or whatever

but it turns out i’m just really hella into girls

1 day ago

kxrplunk:

Yesterday I saw a tweet that said “5SOS are the Green Day of our generation” and I had a good laugh. Green Day are the Green Day of our generation.

1 day ago

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it
  • 1 day ago

malijuanastyles:

All I do at school is watch all the girls pretend to be friends with each other

1 day ago

kyllmiself:

Here’s my little fucking goofball pitbull named Lentil. This picture is like two months old or so, but she pretty much looks/acts the same. She’s so fucking cute omfg.
hannahandonlyhannah: Can I hire Rosie for my birthday party?

roseellendix:

Sure. All you need is 50 dollars and a bath. 

1 day ago

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